I got chafin' on me nipples!

I chafed my nipples on Monday night.

I know that for most people, chafed nipples would be a negative thing. But I consider it a milestone! I’ve never run enough to chafe my nipples, or else I was never running in the right conditions. Sure, it means I have to start Band-Aiding up when I run, but every time I slap a Hello Kitty across my nips (not Dora the Explorer, that’s just creepy), I’ll take a measure of pride.

I have been so busy lately! I feel like I’m letting down the public when I don’t blog, but I just haven’t had an opportunity lately. Wednesday, it was the Doug Benson stand-up show immediately after I got home (I didn’t get called up on stage, but I did get a picture eating beef jerky with Doug Benson). Thursday it was my brother’s wedding rehearsal – again, immediately after I returned home. Friday, we woke up, did a run and it was off to Mr. Formal to try on my jacket and pants, then to Portland for the girls to get nails done and for us guys to stake out a spot at Serrato for the youngun’s party.

Digression: I feel pretty impressed with myself, actually. Friday could have been a dangerous game, but I fought off the temptation. For the most part, at least. More on that in a minute.

Saturday was the wedding and everything that comes with that, such as waking up early, heading to Mr. Formal to pick up the jacket and pants, picking up wedding stuff, getting shaves, and of course, the actual wedding. Sunday was dinner with Sarah’s family friends, as well as all the post-wedding errands. So yeah, really not a free moment at all.

However, I have a whole list of accomplishments to brag about. Wednesday night was the Doug Benson show, and there were a couple of pitfalls: a two-drink minimum and comedy club food. Luckily, if you come to Portland you’d think there were a law requiring all businesses to offer a hummus plate, so we shared that and I had Coronas, which may not be the lowest-calorie option but I wasn’t about to drink well drinks at a comedy club.

Friday morning was run day, and I continue to be less slow as I go along. It’s an out-and-back, and after going out in 43:04, we came in in 42:34, so that’s a six-mile time of 1:28:38. I’m going to miss my weekly 5K again this week (family obligations and all), but I’m excited at the prospect of making some PRs. I’m not one of those people that enjoys running, and I think you people are weird that do enjoy it. But PRs are awesome. I need to break 43:30 in my 5K and 42:00 for three miles. I also want to do a timed mile at some point. I’m not to the point that I’m running a mile yet, but I can alternate running and walking and I imagine I can come in somewhere between 12:30 and 13:00, but I don’t have anything timed yet. Maybe I can get down to a high school and time myself on the track.

Friday night was the aforementioned pre-wedding party, and my brother and I were tasked with grabbing a table at Serrato for happy hour while the girls finished up their nail appointment. We arrived at the restaurant at about 3:55 and told the waitstaff that we would have more joining us around 4:20. Turns out the girls went to the slow nail place and didn’t make it until 5:20. Being in a restaurant for that long is a bit torturous, especially when there is bread so readily available. But we split one order of bread and each had one deviled egg, which I’m sure the staff appreciated while they kept refilling our water.

After Serrato came VoiceBox for karaoke, and my newly-minted sister-in-law’s cousin was ready to break out the drinks. Don’t get me wrong, great guy, but not great for diets, or driving ability. Again, I was able to restrain myself, pawn off the extra drinks, and stay sober for the drive home, as well as not drink 1000 calories worth of alcohol.

You’d think that this is enough temptation for one week, but oh no! You would be wrong. Saturday was the wedding, and oh my, was there food to be had. I was the officiant, and yet I was the least impressive of my brothers. The older one was getting married, so people were all excited about that for some reason, and my younger brother did the catering, which came out beautifully. Luckily, I ate light earlier in the day and so the dinner of amazing salad, stuffed pork loin, rice pilaf, eggplant lasagna, and braised greens wasn’t a total devastation of my daily intake. Also, I danced. Badly. But I’m pretty sure they let you burn calories for dancing whether you can bust a move or not.

Sunday should have been easy then, right? Ha ha, not this time, fatty! It turns out that Sarah’s friends, despite being about 40 years older than me, manage to keep up several beautiful acres of grass, fruit trees, and gardens while still making an amazing dinner of potato cheese casserole, green salad, rice and apple salad, and grilled chicken. Oh, and with rhubarb custard pie for dessert. It was ridiculously difficult to resist the overtures of more food, but I held off and still went home full.

So today I get to relax a little, besides my six-miler tonight. At least I don’t have to resist the temptation of weddings and alcohol and retired ladies bearing pie. Hard to say which is most difficult.

Tuesday:

Breakfast:
Eggs/Eggos/Tapatio

Lunch:
Leftover cheesesteak fixins

Dinner:
Ham/chicken/mozzarella/avocado/hummus Panini
Handful of Krab

Wednesday:

Breakfast:
Eggs/Eggos/Tapatio

Lunch:
1 lb Krab
Cucumber/hummus

Dinner:
Hummus plate at Helium
2 Coronas
1 piece jerky (with Doug Benson)

Thursday:

Breakfast:
Eggs/Eggos/Tapatio

Lunch:
Turkey/Ham/Mozzarella/Hummus Sandwich

Dinner:
Sushi (miso, edamame, krab stick, masago, asparagus roll)
Sapporo – 1

Friday:

Breakfast:
Luna Chocolate Peanut Butter Bar
Amy’s homemade healthy scones (amazing)

Lunch:
Another Luna Bar (I think that was the brand)

Dinner:
Serrato’s IPA
Three slices bread
Small amount olive oil
1 deviled egg
Rigatoni
¼ hummus plate
1 Sapporo
2 shots sake

Workout:
Six miles in 1:28:38

Saturday:

Brunch:
Turkey/brie/arugula/cran jam crepe from Perierra creperie (holy Christ they’re good)

Dinner:
Stuffed pork loin, braised kale, rice pilaf, eggplant lasagna, wedding cake, Mia’s and Pia’s pale ale

Workout:
Breakin’ it down

Sunday:

Breakfast:
Amy’s scone

Lunch:
Turkey/ham/mozzarella/pesto Panini

Dinner:
Fruit salad
grilled chicken thigh
chickpea/brown/rice/apple salad
green salad with mandarin and feta
2 spanakopita triangles
Rhubarb custard pie w/whipped cream