Thursday, August 30, 2012

Working for the weekend.

Finally, another blog! I’m finding it harder and harder to write blogs on here. Now there’s nothing wrong with this blog becoming a daily update of my weight, but I’m sure that’s boring to you as readers, and if people aren’t coming to check out the blog because there are no updates, then it doesn’t have much purpose as a means of accountability. But lately everything I think to post about is either bragging about real accomplishments, bragging about accomplishments that are things I should be doing anyway, or complaining about my weight being screwy. Readers, are these things that you want to read, or should I limit my posts to new subjects?

Now, to write a post describing my daily life like an old person on the Facebooks. As most of you know, I’m a god damn nerd. I’ve built a fairly elaborate spreadsheet tracking my weight every day. Some of the data that I’m tracking has very obvious use (my cumulative weight fluctuations for each day of the week), and others are just esoteric, with very little real use (my cumulative weight fluctuations for each day of the month). My cumulative weight change for each day of the week has done a great deal to confirm what I already know about my weight loss: I fucking suck at weekends.

Here’s my cumulative totals for each day of the week:

Tuesday: -15.6
Wednesday: -15.6
Thursday: -27.2
Friday: -5.6
Saturday: -13.4
Sunday: +10.8
Monday: +5.0

There’s a few things to be gathered from those shitty, shitty numbers. I’m destroying Wednesdays. Almost half of my weight drops come on Thursday morning. I figure that’s the day that the damage of the weekend finally is overtaken by my weekday routine. Routine is a great friend. When your meals are regimented, it’s a lot easier to stay on target. Also, work sucks, and I eat more when I’m having fun.

But that weekend. It would be one thing if I my weight loss slowed on the weekends. But I’m actually reversing the strides I’m making. If I could even break even on the weekends I’d be sitting at damn near 80 pounds lost so far. And the culprits aren’t hard to figure out. I eat too much on the weekends, I eat out too much on the weekends, I eat too much salt on the weekends, and I drink too much on the weekends. Even more damagingly, I have a nasty habit of just stopping tracking on the weekends, usually when my willpower is overcome by something like Rice Krispie Treats.

And one of the problems is that there’s an upper limit to what I want to do to avoid this. I plan to lose this weight, and I’m not getting down about gaining weight on the weekends, but I don’t want weight loss to run my life. I don’t want to be the person that goes to a bar with a group and picks at a salad and a Miller 64. In fact, I had a Miller 64 at a restaurant recently and I wanted to punch myself. It tastes like diluted nothing. Also, there’s nothing wrong with going out and eating wonderfully awful food and drinking a little too much once in a while.

So what’s the solution? I think tracking everything I eat is the big one. Scanning the menu to find something relatively healthy is another. I was at the Tin Shed for breakfast on Sunday and had what was likely three eggs, a scoop of whipped cream cheese, a few ounces of smoked salmon, some capers, peppers and onions. Healthy? Not particularly. But compare it to an omelet smothered with cheese and meat and chili, something I would have been glad to have at any greasy spoon before. I have to learn to say no to the other things, like cheese grits and biscuits.

It’s both easier and more difficult to eat healthy in Portland. Portland has, to put it plainly, fucking amazing food. Even in the less fancy parts of town, there’s always at least five amazing places within walking distance, and usually many, many more. Some of these are healthy, but Portland has plenty of fat vegans too. So it’s hard when someone wants to go to a place I’ve recommended because they have amazing poutine to skip getting some for myself. (Seriously, have you been to Potato Champion? Go there. Now.)

Anyway, I know that this post has been incredibly rambling, but it’s partially because there are no easy answers. Besides, this blog is like a good therapist: it allows me to talk through things without arguing with me.

Oh yeah, and today I crossed 60 pounds!

Friday, August 24, 2012

Check it out.


This guy just walked 13.1 miles.

My route:




Wednesday, August 22, 2012

PR.

39:42, bitches!

OK, so it’s not exactly a 5K world record. But it is a new PR by 3 minutes and 48 seconds, and it’s my first ever 5K under 40 minutes, so yeah, 39:42 bitches. Technically the course was 3.08 miles, not the 3.106 that entails a true 5K, but considering I overshot the turnaround by a good ten seconds, I’m going to consider it done.

Also, the weight is moving in the right direction again, which is good, but not my main focus right now. The weight will come off if I do things right. I’ve been spending this week tracking everything I eat, and I’ve gotten my feet back on the pavement. My weight may bounce around some more, but for now it’s about getting my mind back on track and getting back in the groove, and today is the first day in at least a month that I’ve really felt back in that groove.

I also entirely forgot a little victory from last weekend! I purchased my first pair of size 44 jeans in years on Friday. Granted, big and tall jeans fluctuate wildly – a problem with all big and tall clothing – but I haven’t fit into a pair of jeans with a 44 on them in years, no matter how big-fitting they were. Not only that, they’re really nice-looking Sean Johns, and those are not easy to find, because Sean Johns, along with Rocawear and most other brands offered at the Burlington Coat Factory are…how can I put this delicately…urban? Basically, it’s hard to find a pair of jeans without an enormous ugly decal directly on the ass. Speaking of asses, it’s impossible to find a pair that doesn’t hang down in the ass, because they are usually unbearably baggy. But these fit just about perfectly. I look pretty damn amazing in them if I’m being honest with you, dear reader.

I’ve been having strange recurring dreams the last couple of months. The details change, but the thing that sticks with me each time is that I’m running and it’s…while it’s not effortless, it’s what I imagine running must be like to run for people who like running. It’s certainly a letdown when I wake up and realize that I can’t actually run like that, but it does falsely inflate my idea of how well I can run and make the 5K I inevitably have that day that much easier to both look forward to and power through.

Anyway, nothing pithy to end this blog with.

Monday, August 20, 2012

Recommitting.

On July 31st, I weighed 355.4 pounds. This morning, I weighed 353.4 pounds.

That, in a nutshell, describes my August. It can’t be called bad, because I’ve lost two pounds, and every pound lost is a good thing. But it’s been slow going and wildly erratic. I was 347.8 on August 9th, 356.2 on August 13th, 347.6 on August 18th, and 353.4 this morning. I’m tempted to chalk it up to something beyond my control, but in reality it’s a combination of being lazy and cocky. I lose a few pounds and I tend to start thinking I’ve got this thing figured out. I don’t need to track all my food right away, just eyeball it and add it up later. I don’t need to put my daily weigh-in online, I can wait until after the weekend. I don’t have to exercise today, I have two workouts planned for the rest of the week. That can work when I’m at work all day and my eating is more regimented, but on the weekends it’s a recipe for disaster.

Yesterday was just a free-for-all of bad decisions. It started out okay, with Sarah and I splitting a semi-healthy breakfast burrito and lox plate, along with a beer. Then the unhealthy food just ran train on me. Rice Krispie treats, Ruffles, M&Ms, more beer, chicken wings, and more. At one point, I was mindlessly eating cinnamon gummy bears. What the fuck? I don’t even like cinnamon candy! Somehow I managed to gain weight over the last two days faster than I gained it at Mancave.

So today it’s legitimately back to it. I’m tracking every single thing that I eat. I’m going running tonight, and I’m not going to half-ass it like I have all month. I have 19 weeks until the end of the year, and I’m 23.4 pounds away from the weight on my driver’s license, 33.8 away from being out of the highest obesity range, and 53.6 to go until I’m under 300 pounds for the first time in at least ten years. While there are no guarantees, I see no reason that I can’t shoot for the first two. If I actually stick with proper nutrition and exercise (especially if I join the gym finally), there’s no reason I can’t lose two pounds a week.

Anyway, the past is over, and all I can change is what I do going forward. I need to fire up the grill, strap on my filthy running shoes (damn you Pineapple Classic!) and get back to it.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

Back in the saddle again.

I think I may have misled you, the reading public. Well, not so much misread as misspoke (or mistyped, if you want to look at it that way). I greatly appreciate all the kind words and the encouragement to stick with it. However, I think it came across that I was depressed because of my weight gain at Mancave. That’s not really the case; I had no illusions that I wouldn’t. I was more depressed in addition to that than anything, and I think it was primarily because there was such a buildup of excitement, especially the last couple of weeks leading into Mancave. Then at the end, there’s not that thing to look forward to, and you’re exhausted, and now it’s time to go back to work. So it’s a letdown to go back to the real world.

But I’m over that now. My only issue now is lingering fatigue. I’m not sure if it’s my body not being used to beach football or what, but my legs are just tired. Maybe it’s underuse. In any case, I have my weekly three-miler today, so I’ll be back in the exercise thing, and I’m back in the healthy eating habit, which took longer than I thought, but so be it.

On another note, I’ve found that hanging out with a bunch of skinny people where pictures are being taken is a fine way to remind oneself that one has a long way to go.


Don’t get me wrong; I’m happy with my progress so far, but there’s a difference between making myself less fat and getting down to the point where I’m no longer “the fat one” in the group. The good news is that there was only one broken chair at Mancave, and it wasn’t broken by me (you know who you are).

So yes, I’m back on the horse (figuratively, not literally – poor horse), and ready to rock. Also, I’ve heard some tales of delicious healthy recipes on the comments here. Granted, they are mostly from Tiny, a known hippie, but I’d like to try them anyway. Also, if someone can steal the recipe for the Bye and Bye’s vegan meatball sub, I will gladly pay several dollars for it. Torture someone if you have to. Happy Humpday!

Breakfast:
Eggs/Eggos/Tapatio

Lunch:
Fish tacos (swai/arugala/jalapenos/Tapatio)

Dinner:
Hometown Buffet! A big salad, a little ham, some mashed potatoes, and two pieces of skinless chicken.

Also, I'm still waiting on Tapatio sponsorship.

Tuesday, August 14, 2012

Setback.

Mancave has come to a close, but the effects are still here. You’ll notice I haven’t posted a weigh-in in some time now. Partially that’s because I forgot my scale at home, and partially that’s because I didn’t exactly keep to healthy eating while at Mancave.

I wouldn’t say that I ate horribly at Mancave, but I drank. A lot. Basically, I had a beer in my hand at pretty much all times. I’ll admit, it was a hell of a lot of fun, but holy shit, did I swell up like a balloon. Anyway, I stepped on the scale yesterday at 356.2, a gain of 8.4 pounds from my weigh-in on Thursday. It’s not a particularly huge deal – after all, it’s really just undoing the weight loss of the previous week. But the worst part is my complete lack of motivation since I’ve come back.

Since I came back on Sunday, I’ve been fighting off some depression. I’m not sure where it came from, although I think the excitement building up to Mancave set me up for a letdown. Eating like a damn pig probably isn’t too good for me either, since it has completely sapped my energy. So basically I’ve been feeling bummed about not working out, but also feeling completely exhausted. It’s a vicious cycle really.

So anyway, on to the good of Mancave: I got a fair amount of exercise. Kelly O and I got up Friday morning and headed out to the gym. I got a couple of miles in on the treadmill, then did fifteen minutes on the stair climber. Also this: I will never laugh at the stairclimber again. I did 45 floors in 15 minutes and there were rivulets of sweat running across the machine. And Saturday, we hit the beach for a football game, which was a great workout too. I just drank beer for approximately 96 hours straight and that’s surprisingly not good for you.

So anyway, it’s Tuesday, my first day back at work, and an opportunity to get back on track. This is the time that I can decide to either throw in the towel, grab a plateful of ribs and fried chicken tonight at the Hometown Buffet, and let my ass get Ridiculously Fat again (I feel I’m down to just Very Fat status now), or I can make the right choices and let Mancave be the yearly blip on the radar that it is. I think I’ll go with the latter.

Friday, August 3, 2012

This counts as a good day.

Holy shit, I ran a mile. The last time I did that was 2001.

I’m not sure what prompted it, but yesterday I just had this wild hair that I was going to go out and run a mile. So I got up today, went to my usual running place, walked a quarter mile to warm up and I was off! And it was actually not terrible. I got through the mile at 11:20. The weird thing is, it wasn’t a particularly good workout otherwise. I did four miles, but I only ran another quarter mile. And yes, my back was tightening up a little worse than usual, but it was really just an excuse. I could have powered through it, but I must admit that I was feeling very self-satisfied at the time.

I woke up this morning to a three-pound loss, which put me at 51.8 pounds lost in 75 days. Then I went out and ran the aforementioned mile. Then something weird/awesome happened about halfway through my walk-run. I was stopped in the path by an older gentleman who the internet tells me would be described as a “brony”. Regardless, MLP shirt or not, he said that I had run past him and he called me “an inspiration”. I must admit, I had no idea how to respond to that so I said, “Yeah, it’s hard,” which I am aware makes zero sense. Anyway, he said that it was hard for him to get out and walk so it was an inspiration. He then said that he saw my calves as I ran by and that they were “all muscle” and that when I lost the rest, I would look like “the bloody Hulk”.

How do I respond? True, I do have some fairly fine, Sasso-ian calves, but I guess I’m just not one for talking about myself – this blog notwithstanding. Anyway, I said something like “thanks, I appreciate it” and was on my way, but it was probably more awkward than it should have been.

Anyway, I’m 50 pounds down, I ran a mile and I inspired someone. Oh, and Mancave is six days away. Things are good.

Wednesday:

Breakfast:
Eggs/Eggos/Tapatio

Lunch:
Salmon/broccoli/couscous

Dinner:
Semi-homemade clam chowder
Spinach/walnut/orange salad

Dessert:
Apple pie/ice cream

Thursday:

Breakfast:
Eggs/Eggos/Tapatio

Lunch:
Salad and fruit

Dinner:
Leftover clam chowder
Apple pie/ice cream

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Mancave is my favorite time of the year.

Oh Mancave, you crafty bitch.

So Mancave commences eight days from today. I’m under no illusion that I’m going to somehow lose weight on this trip. I think of it as a trip to the casino (which I’ll likely be making while on the trip): you know it’s not going to go your way, so take steps to mitigate the damage, and if you win, consider it a rare and welcome surprise.

So first, I’m taking my scale. Weighing in every day will keep me accountable for my actions. I know that it will be easy to go away for four days and come home seven pounds heavier. If I can turn that seven pounds into three? I would consider it a success.

I also need to bring along some healthier options. This doesn’t mean I’m going to be turning down a burger at dinner and eating a dry salad. It just means that instead of eating from a family size bag of chips, maybe I’ll eat from a family size bag of beef jerky or make a big ol’ hummus plate. And when we do make burgers I’ll have, you know, one.

Even so, I’m going to overeat and overdrink. This is a once-a-year event with my boys and I’m going to have fun with my boys, even if that fun means that my weight loss goals are set back by a week. Obviously, I’d prefer that they be set back by more like two or three days, but Mancave only comes once a year.

What else can I do to keep my Mancave gluttony in check? Exercise! Since we Mancave attendees are all pushing 30 or have hurtled past it, I think we’re reaching that age where the idea of working out on a man-weekend is actually something we want to do. That doesn’t mean we’re going to run on the beach, Chariots of Firestyle. But my buddy Kelly O and I are planning a workout one morning, beach football was a big hit last year and will be on the agenda again, and we’re throwing in a basketball game to boot. So I figure if I keep my calorie load at around 4000 calories a day and can find a way to burn 800-1000, I should be in pretty good shape. Wish me luck!

Breakfast:
Eggs/Eggos/Tapatio

Lunch:
More leftover wedding food! Stuffed pork loin, rice pilaf, braised kale

Dinner:
Skippers for Lyle’s Myles planning meeting: Three-piece halibut meal with cole slaw (passed on the fries)

Snack:
½ cantaloupe