My body is weird.
Today I lost 4.6 pounds. Tomorrow I’m sure to gain some of it back, but for today, I’m over 80 and I’ll take it! It’s like my body just holds and holds weight and then lets it go all at once.
Also, today I want to talk about things that are not great about losing weight quickly. The first one is clothes. Today I’m wearing a shirt that was too small when I bought it. Come to think of it, a lot of my clothes were purchased when they were too small for me. I guess I’ve always been an optimist. However, this shirt is enormous, I was just enormouser at the time, but now since I’m merely quite large, I’m swimming in this thing. Not only is this just weird to wear, it makes me look worse when I wear it. I think I own two shirts at this point that actually fit me, and I must say, I look excellent in them.
So I should probably make another run to the Burlington Coat Factory this weekend and see what else I can find. Now I’m wondering at what point I’ll be ready to shop in actual stores. However, having been too fat for real stores my entire adult life, I have questions for people who shop in those places. For one, where do real people shop for clothes? One thing I know I want once I can fit into it is a Powell’s Books t-shirt, but I’m fairly sure I can’t do all my clothes shopping at Powell’s (or can I?) One of the few perks of being a fatty is that shopping, while a horribly frustrating experience, has always been relatively simple: I have my one or two stores that carry things I don’t hate, and I find what fits me that’s not awful. Now that I have to start thinking about finding clothes that I actually like and that look good on me, it’s a bit overwhelming.
What clothes actually look good on me? I have clothes that I think look all right, and I’m pretty good at avoiding looking terrible, but I have a feeling that a whole mess of options out there (or I will soon at least) that really look good. Or maybe I’ll just make the clothes look better than I did.
OK, enough of that. I’ve had some people ask me: How have I done it? I personally find the question fascinating, and I think people find major weight loss fascinating in general because there’s rarely a good answer to why it works. I’d wager that somewhere between 100% and 100% of people that have lost weight have tried and failed in the past. It’s hard! Not only that, it’s really easy to slip back into bad habits. Why? Working out is hard, eating unhealthy food is easy, and people are generally nice and won’t tell you when you’re slipping. So when people suddenly succeed in losing weight and keeping it off, I find it utterly mind-blowing. But now that I’m on my way to becoming one of those people, and I’ve had more than a couple people ask me how, I want to give a good answer that’s not just made up of clichés and platitudes.
So here goes: Losing weight isn’t easy. However, it is simple. Let me explain. The numbers behind weight loss are easy to calculate (even easier with smartphone apps) and generally pretty static. It’s not hard to know what to do to lose weight. But it’s a lot more difficult to actually make those changes, especially if you don’t know what’s healthy and what isn’t. It’s not hard to keep your daily calories at 1800; most of us can do math, or at least have a calculator. But what do you need to eat to make those calories count? How can you eat 1800 calories in a way that you’re not miserable? If you’re miserable, you’re going to fail.
First thing on my list: Track EVERYTHING. No bullshit; everything. On some days, when you’re doing well, you may have no problem keeping your calories down without tracking. But when it’s 8:30, and you’ve had a long day and what you’ve eaten just hasn’t been enough? If you think to yourself, “It’s ok, my brain’s got this,” you might look at what you’ve eaten and think, “That feels like 1500 calories or so” and reach for something that’s going to bite you in the ass later. If you’ve tracked your calories and you know for a fact that you’re at 1826 calories, then suddenly a few slices of cucumber and a couple tablespoons of hummus (70 calories, plus 5-8 for the cucumber) seems a lot more palatable.
Speaking of hummus: eat it. Eat the shit out of hummus. It’s delicious, it can go on just about anything savory, it’s low in calories but has healthy fats, plus fiber and protein. Basically, I focus on three things: What is the most fat, fiber and protein I can get for the least calories? Go to the tortilla aisle sometime. Ah, Mission Brand Multi-Grain Wraps! Sounds delicious, and healthy. I could wrap that around some eggs, maybe throw on a little cheddar and there’s a healthy breakfast!
Here’s the nutrition info for one wrap :
1 tortilla
210 calories
6g fat
33g carbs
7g fiber
6g protein
Not terrible, but throw on two eggs and a quarter-cup of cheddar cheese, and you’ve blown through 460 calories just at breakfast. That being said, you throw some salsa in there, maybe some spinach and Tapatio (always welcome in my house) and you’ve got a decent breakfast that may be a little high-calorie, but still comes in at 500 calories and should be doable if you budget accordingly the rest of the day. Still, take a look at the nutrition facts for La Tortilla Factory Smart & Delicious Large Size Tortillas:
80 calories
3g fat
18g carbs
12g fiber
8g protein
5 grams more fiber, two grams more protein, and for 130 less calories? Try that with just one eggs, two tablespoons of hummus (I recommend Sabra Roasted Red Pepper) and two tablespoons of feta and you have a delicious breakfast for 265 calories that packs a bunch of fiber, protein and good tasty fat to keep you satisfied.
OK, so that was a long way to go to point out one example, but it’s true, check everything you buy and track everything you eat. Next is exercise. I’m the kind of person that gets really into this and I start working out 5-6 times a week, which isn’t always possible for people with busy schedules (it’s not always possible for me). Now, I could say that working out is easy, or you can just go for a walk three times a week for 20 minutes and watch the pounds melt away! Not so easy. You have to get out and exercise. Walking is wonderful and not to be discouraged, but push yourself. Have you ever walked four miles? No? Go do it. Today. Find a path, map it on http://www.mapmyrun.com and go do it. It won’t be as hard as you think and you might even want to go further someday. When I started, the idea of walking six miles was scary. I’ve walked 13 now. At once. Go work out. Try for three hours a week. Is that hard? Yes. Losing weight isn’t easy.
Now the most important part. This is the one thing that has made losing weight a reality for me, more than anything else that I’ve done. One word: accountability. I started my whole change (I refuse to call it a “journey”) on May 20th of this year. I made my first blog post on June 19th. I tried half-assing the accountability. I posted my daily change on Twitter, but never my weight, and I knew that I needed to make it known that this was happening if I wanted to keep this up. So I put my weight online. On June 19th, I weight 379.4 pounds. That’s not an easy number to tell to your family and friends. But it made me think about every choice that I’ve made since then. It would be easy to stop off at the burger place and gorge until I’m uncomfortably stuffed, if I didn’t know that the next morning, I have to step on that scale and announce to the world my weight.
So there you have it. Track what you eat, exercise (more than a little), and be accountable. You don’t have to do what I did. I got the idea from Drew Magary, a writer at deadspin. The Public Humiliation Diet is my way. But you don’t have to announce your weight to the world. Put it on your refrigerator. Put it on your desk. Make yourself accountable to yourself, if no one else. There’s no big secret to weight loss. There’s only reasons why you haven’t. Once you get rid of those, there’s no way to stop you.
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